Friday, February 6, 2009

Branch-Dansoman Branch
PO Box DC 215, Accra,
Opp., The Comm. Mkt.


With due respect, I introduce myself to you for a better relationship. I am M
Your contact is courtesy of Business online network via Internet as I decided
to contact you for this beneficial transaction that is 100% risk free.

During our quarterly annual auditing, I discovered the sum of (US$36M)THIRTY S
IX MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS in a dormant account belonging to Mr. CHARLES
NEWMAN,a German international businessman who died along with his family in
the November 5th,2004 plane crash in Abidjan west Africa. Our investigations r
evealed no survival or NEXT OF KIN/RELATIONS for claims as we have long been e
xpecting someone to forward applications for claims as it applies to our banki
ng regulations.
Information / verifications from reliable sources confirmed that his supposed
NEXT OF KIN died with him in the crash.

However, I kept this information (SECRET) confidential within my jurisdiction
to enable us submit claims and transfer this fund through trustworthy person w
hom we shall present to our bank as the BONAFIDE NEXT OF KIN to the deceased.
We intend to credit this fund into any of your nominated (designated) offshore
bank account
for investments.

Meanwhile, all domestic arrangements for claims has been put in place awaiting
your acceptance to participate.
I will give you directives and all needed information as soon as I receive y
our positive response.

Kindly understand that we could not carry out this on our own as based on the
simple facts that we are civil servants and not allowed to operate foreign acc
ount and, it will raise eyebrows on our side in terms of transfer being staff
of the bank. Moreover, this fund belongs to a foreigner and demands same as ne
xt of kin to claim it. Hence need outside contact for a successful operation.

I will offer you 20% of the total sum as commission, I will invest 75% of ou
r share in your country provided it is profit oriented. 5% of the total fund w
ill be set aside to re-emburse all expenses to be incurred in the course of r
unning this transaction such as telephone and other minor expenses. I am assur
ing you of a smooth and successful transaction provided you display maturity
and observe confidentiality.

And it will interest you to know that Ghana Commersial Bank(Apex) will approve
credit of this fund into your account as contract payment to abstain you from
all queries regarding the source (originality) of this fund and will provide
you (beneficiary) with contractual (data) details to certify your bank or gov
ernment if the need arises. Therefore, be kind to clarify the following for my

1. Can your account accommodate this fund in your local bank without governmen
t intervention or do you have an account outside your country where you may co
nsider safe for this fund ?.
2. What are the taxation in your country like as I desire a low/free tax zone?
3. What are the interest rates on long/short te rm fixed deposit in your local
4. What other lucrative investments would you suggest as I intend banking, rea
l est ate and hotels if they are good business venture in your Country?.
5. Can you be able to make residential documents and purchase a house for me a
nd my family to relocate and settle in your country after the transaction?
6. How old are you?
7. What kind of business do you do?/occupation
8.What is your marital statue at present

Kindly give me your telephone and fax number for more efficient communication
and reply me at my alternative email address.

Looking forward to your anticipated urgent response.

Best regards,

Dear Luther,

I am beloved of your offer to better our relationship through opportunities involving money transactions. It will interest you to know that I am full of not many pennies or even nickles, respectively. I fully anticipate and urge a complete lack of full response of this very urgent and (SECRET) matter of the (US$36M) THIRTY SIX MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS.

Love to you, your camel, and your


Monday, February 2, 2009

Dear Santa,

I realize that it's February now, but I have a few things that I really need and I don't know if you've ever done this before, but I was just wondering if maybe you could make a special exception just this once...

Could you please just send Rudolf with a pair of snow boots, a new pair of jeans (skinny please. I'm thinking J Brand Pencil Fit), a haircut/highlight, and some dental work. I know those last few are a bit of a struggle, but gift certificates are always available.

Oh, and one more thing. My juicer is on it's last leg. Can you make sure the new one can juice wheatgrass?

Thanks so much.