Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dear Swine Flu,

I'm am so upset at you. You are such a jerk. I can't believe you'd wait until I am FINALLY going on a vacation to show up. WHY???? Did you talk to 9/11? Did he tell you about how he decided to arrive ONE MONTH after I moved to NY?

What's the deal?

Ok, listen. I'll strike a deal with you. If you can call up Tornado, Earthquake, Tsunami, Plane Crash, Terrorist Attack, Cancer, and your cousins Bird Flu, Mad Cow, and SARS, and let them know to stay out of my way in November, then you can ravage Mexico with as much force as you would like for the month of May.

Oh, and can you call up Unemployment, Car Crash, and World War III as well?




Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dear Self,

Welcome back.