Saturday, December 13, 2008

Dear Mr. Creeps,

I don't quite know what to say. You totally duped me. The Salvation Army outfit and bell made me think you were a good guy. I mean, why would a Mr. Creeps take a job standing in front of Smith's grocery store out in the cold, ringing a bell for charity? And I suppose the Holiday season has a way of numbing the defenses and allowing a person to skip their normal critical thought processes.

You see, while walking through the parking lot, I saw you staring at me. I saw your eyes pan over me, but I was distracted by the sound of your bell asking for money to save the world from hunger and hardship. So I walked by you and gave a hint of a smile, then continued on to buy my bread and butter, not giving it a second thought.

But, the same thing happened on the way out of the store. I saw you, back turned to the same people you were supposed to be ringing your bell at, staring at me. Again, I let the corners of my mouth turn upwards, not really knowing what else to do. You're the Salvation Army man, right? You wouldn't be giving me the eye, checking out my goods, right? I mean, you're practically related to Santa Claus.

And as I passed you by, I heard something. Something quiet, but clear:

"Bye Bye Baby."

Bye Bye Baby?


You're getting nothing but coal this year.




Melissapher said...


There was a guy that did that at the grocery store once. I was 8 months pregnant. EEE.

Rebekah said...

hahaha. ok sooo glad i found your blog and you found mine. now we can entetain one another :)

and poo on perverted salvation army grocery workers.

naomi said...

Practically related to Santa Claus? hahahahahahahahaha

Carissa said...

Gross. Gross. Gross.